[epigram] Fwd: WARNING!

[immortalsin@earthling.net]

 ---- you wrote: 
> If you receive an Email with the subject line "Badtimes" delete it    
> IMMEDIATELY, WITHOUT READING IT!  This is the most dangerous Email virus 
> yet. Not only will it completely rewrite your hard drive, but  it will 
> scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It also 
> demagnetises the strips on all your CREDIT CARDS. It deprograms your ATM 
> access code, messes up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field 
> harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play. It
> will recalibrate your refrigerators coolness settings so all your 
> ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It will give your 
> ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. This virus will mix antifreeze 
> into your fish tank. It will drink all your Dr Pepper. It will even 
> leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are 
> expecting company. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work 
> and interfere with your car radio reception so that you hear only static 
> while stuck in traffic. When executed,"Badtimes" will also give you 
> nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace yourshampoo with Nair 
> and deodorant with Surface Spray. It will give you Dutch Elm
> Disease and Tinea. If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95
> environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hairdryer 
> plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove 
> the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it
> will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. It has also been known 
> to disregard 'Open This End' labels and can often make you 'Push' a door 
> that says 'Pull' and vice versa. It is insidious AND subtle. It is 
> dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting 
> shade of mauve. These are just a few signs.               YOU HAVE BEEN 
> WARNED!!!!!


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