AW: Dear RED STATES

["Rainer Thelonius Balthasar Straschill" <rs@moinlabs.de>]

We did have this in Germany some time ago, it was called FRG and GDR...

-----Ursprüngliche Nachricht-----
Von: Luis Angulo [mailto:labalou2000@yahoo.com] 
Gesendet: Montag, 12. September 2005 10:34
An: Loopers-Delight@loopers-delight.com
Betreff: Dear RED STATES


This sounds great if you dont mind i am coming with
you;-!

> Dear Red States...
> 
> We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our
> own country, and we're
> taking just the Blue States with us.
> 
> In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii,
> California, Oregon,
> Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois
> and all the Northeast.
> We believe this split will be beneficial to the
> nation, and especially to
> the people of the new country.
> 
> To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all
> the slave states. We get
> stem cell research and the best beaches. We get
> Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken
> Lay.
> 
> We get the Statue of Liberty. We get Hollywood and Yosemite... You get
> Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get
> WorldCom and Enron. We get
> Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of
> America's venture capital
> and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get
> two-thirds of the tax revenue,
> you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
> 
> Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower
> than the Christian
> Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You
> get a bunch of single
> moms.
> 
> Please be aware that the new country will be
> pro-choice and anti-war, and
> we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq
> at once. If you need
> people to fight, ask your politicians and
> evangelicals. They have kids
> they're apparently willing to send to their deaths
> for no purpose, and they
> don't care if you don't show pictures of their
> children's caskets coming
> home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that
> the WMDs turn up, but
> we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's
> Quagmire.
> 
> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm
> control of 80 percent of the
> country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the
> pineapple and lettuce, 92
> percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
> America's quality wines
> (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90
> percent of all cheese, 90
> percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, 
> all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy
> and Seven Sister schools,
> plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
> 
> With the Red States, on the other hand, you will
> have to cope with 88
> percent of all obese Americans (and their projected
> health care costs), 92
> percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent
> of the tornadoes, 90
> percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all
> Southern Baptists, virtually
> 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
> Bob Jones University,
> Clemson and the University of Georgia.
> 
> Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states
> believe Jonah was
> actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe
> life is sacred unless
> we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44
> percent say that
> evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam
> was involved in 9/11, and
> 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are
> people with high morals.
> 


www.luis-angulo.com


                
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