Re: Devil's AdvocateRE: Dear RED STATES

["Stephen Goodman" <spgoodman@earthlight.net>]

> From: "Timothy Mungenast" <mungenast@earthlink.net>
> To: <Loopers-Delight@loopers-delight.com>
> Sent: Monday, 12 September, 2005 17:23 PM
> Subject: Devil's AdvocateRE: Dear RED STATES
>
>
>> Sounds good, but I'd miss ZZ Top, I'd miss Moon Pies, and besides, I've 
>> got
>> a whole passel of red-state relatives who think Dubya is just great.
>> I'm not sure that re-starting the Civil War is the answer.
>> Let's try to understand Bush supporters-- aside from a few cynical
>> plutocrats, most Bush supporters are basically good-hearted folks (like 
>> my
>> Mom) who were raised in very socially conservative households and would
>> vote for a bag of popcorn if it ran on a ProLife platform. Anything that
>> even vaguely smells of hippiedom is anathema to them.

Not really.  I'm a Republican but somehow not a raving fundamentalist 
drone.
Whoops, that one doesn't work.  Neither does the line being continuously 
fed
through the media about the 2000 and 2004 elections somehow causing a
permanent divide in our country.  Somehow it only seems to exist in the
minds of people who can't um, 'move on'.

>> They would help you if they found you lying in the middle of the road. 
>> Your
>> wallet would be safe. They work hard for their families, and they're so
>> busy working their butts off making a living that they really don't have
>> time to read the news. THAT'S KEY.
>> And honestly, they've been underwhelmed by the Democrats' 
>> less-than-awesome
>> marketing of less-than-inspiring candidates who kinda lacked charisma,
>> whereas Dubya has this aura that makes ya think he wants to be your
>> drinkin' buddy. It's a gift that not everybody has.
>> Look at Gore. He was a Southerner, a VietNam vet, a sportsman, a genuine
>> bubba, and still the Red States would have none of it. The fact that 
>they
>> chose Captain AWOL over Gore points to feeble Democratic campaigning 
>and,
>> possibly, Al's stiff public persona.
>> Even when you have a good product, ya gotta sell, sell, sell. Ditto for
>> Kerry. A good guy, but you can't afford to shoot yourself in the foot 
>> when
>> you are up against the GOP, the best salesmen the world has ever seen. 
>> And
>> Kerry did shoot himself in the foot more than a few times.
>> The Red Staters had reasons to vote for Dub. We may not be able to fully
>> comprehend those reasons, but WE CANNOT write these people off as HeeHaw
>> goofballs and inbred haters. You will not win over anybody if you insult
>> them, contrary to what Howard Dean thinks. Resist the urge. Reach out. 
>> Try
>> to find some common ground.
>> Sonic Luv,
>> Tim Mungenast
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>> [Original Message]
>>> From: Luis Angulo <labalou2000@yahoo.com>
>>> To: <Loopers-Delight@loopers-delight.com>
>>> Date: 9/12/2005 4:34:22 AM
>>> Subject: Dear  RED STATES
>>>
>>> This sounds great if you dont mind i am coming with
>>> you;-!
>>>
>>> > Dear Red States...
>>> >
>>> > We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our
>>> > own country, and we're
>>> > taking just the Blue States with us.
>>> >
>>> > In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii,
>>> > California, Oregon,
>>> > Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois
>>> > and all the Northeast.
>>> > We believe this split will be beneficial to the
>>> > nation, and especially to
>>> > the people of the new country.
>>> >
>>> > To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all
>>> > the slave states. We get
>>> > stem cell research and the best beaches. We get
>>> > Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken
>>> > Lay.
>>> >
>>> > We get the Statue of Liberty. We get Hollywood and
>>> > Yosemite... You get
>>> > Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get
>>> > WorldCom and Enron. We get
>>> > Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of
>>> > America's venture capital
>>> > and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get
>>> > two-thirds of the tax revenue,
>>> > you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
>>> >
>>> > Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower
>>> > than the Christian
>>> > Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You
>>> > get a bunch of single
>>> > moms.
>>> >
>>> > Please be aware that the new country will be
>>> > pro-choice and anti-war, and
>>> > we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq
>>> > at once. If you need
>>> > people to fight, ask your politicians and
>>> > evangelicals. They have kids
>>> > they're apparently willing to send to their deaths
>>> > for no purpose, and they
>>> > don't care if you don't show pictures of their
>>> > children's caskets coming
>>> > home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that
>>> > the WMDs turn up, but
>>> > we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's
>>> > Quagmire.
>>> >
>>> > With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm
>>> > control of 80 percent of the
>>> > country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the
>>> > pineapple and lettuce, 92
>>> > percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
>>> > America's quality wines
>>> > (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90
>>> > percent of all cheese, 90
>>> > percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S.
>>> > low-sulfur coal, all
>>> > living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy
>>> > and Seven Sister schools,
>>> > plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
>>> >
>>> > With the Red States, on the other hand, you will
>>> > have to cope with 88
>>> > percent of all obese Americans (and their projected
>>> > health care costs), 92
>>> > percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent
>>> > of the tornadoes, 90
>>> > percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all
>>> > Southern Baptists, virtually
>>> > 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
>>> > Bob Jones University,
>>> > Clemson and the University of Georgia.
>>> >
>>> > Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states
>>> > believe Jonah was
>>> > actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe
>>> > life is sacred unless
>>> > we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44
>>> > percent say that
>>> > evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam
>>> > was involved in 9/11, and
>>> > 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are
>>> > people with high morals.
>>> >
>>>
>>>
>>> www.luis-angulo.com
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> __________________________________
>>> Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005
>>> http://mail.yahoo.com
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>