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reply to Larry Cooperman about his thoughts about low self esteem

Hey Larry,

You wrote:
"Now I gave my CD to the Walker brothers, it wasn't looping but it was
wild and crazy solo guitar that I can't imagine coming from too many
sources.  Do I have low self esteem because they haven't said anything
about it?  Well, yes.  I am sad and hurt like a wounded animal on
Why?  WHY!?  Why I am I so rejected by the people I want not to reject
me?  You don't like me now do you?  My music is bad and I know it."

Just for a point of information:    For better or for worse,  I recieve 
about 5-10 CDs a week consistently from
the international live looping (probably because I've been aggressive 
promoting live looping festivals here and around the 
world)....................week in and week out.    I also produce 
of found sound, voice and electronics, emerging Santa Cruz Electronica, 
Ambient music, Creative DJs and Beatboxing during the year so I get all 
material as well.   I'm inundated by people's tracks and I honestly try to 
get to all of them.

The Y2K4 Live Looping Festival took me 6 weeks of hard, unpaid and 
work to produce after a very, very
stressful personal year.   There were travelling artists staying at my 
for two weeks after the festival as well.
I probably was handed a dozen CDs to listen to (and I"m grateful they were 
shared with me) at the Festival itself.
I then, immediately had to start preparing for performances at the AES 
convention, NPR Nashville and the PASIC 
convention..............again...........all in an attempt to promote the 
cause of live looping (and my own career <he admits so as not to be 

Long story short,    I've hardly listened to anyone's CDs in the interim 
time frame because I have had neither the time nor the energy to do so, so 
my not getting back to
you is entirely NOT PERSONAL!!!!!!!!!!!   Nor should it reflect on your 
self esteem issues.

For what it is worth,  the CD I am most proud about in the past four years 
is my CD  'Faux Voix'.
I have, to date, sold a grand total of two CDs here at Loopers Delight 
I put it out almost a year ago.
I was really lucky because I got a couple of really nice reviews out of 
those sales, but talk about not feeling supported.
I've sent dozens and dozens of complimentary CDs out to fellow loopers and 
journalists and have only generated
two reviews for my efforts.

But you know what?   I've finally realized that I have to do music for the 
sake of doing music.  I've realized that I have to completely let go of 
people liking what I do.  It was hurting the quality of my art to 
be insecure about how it is recieved.

Low self esteem?   I have plenty of it, my friend so I can really relate 
you feel.
Insecurity?   You betcha!!!!

It just goes with the territory.

soooooooooooooooooooo,  I'll get to your CD when I have time (and my last 
incredible several month run of hard work finally came to an end in 
Nashville last week, when I promptly got a bad cold that I've had ever 
I promise you, I will.

In the meantime,  buck up, man!!!!!   It's just not personal,  I promise 
Keep doing your artistry.  It's a very good thing!  I'll get back to you.

yours, respectfully and in friendship and solidarity,