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super-simple vst sample recorder?

I can't believe that I spent about 2 hours looking for this without 
There are zillions of fancy vst effects and instruments out there for free,
but nothing like what I want. Any ideas where to look?

I want a Windows VST sample recorder/player, not just a sample player but
something very simple that can record live input audio and then on a click
simply spread it across the keyboard to play with it polyphonically. I
thought this is not too much to ask but apparently nobody needs something
like this. It doesn't even have to be able to save the samples or load 
or do anything fancy. Samplers like Kontakt are way too complex and big, I
thought of something really basic and small (and free, of course). But I
couldn't find anything.