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Re: New Topic Suggestion
On 7/22/64 11:59 AM, mark francombe wrote:
I think it is interesting that on a huge list like LD, we very rarely
have these problems, and when they do pop up, I am always reminded of
our sadly missed founder who never banned anyone, but I certainly
received a well worded and curt private mail, intelligently putting me
firmly in my place.
I always appreciated Kim's approach, too, Mark, even though I didn't
get it at first to be honest.
What happens is that when you call someone out in public, shaming
occurs................people get really angry when they feel
that someone is trying to shame or attack them.
There are, imho, wiser and more compassionate ways of cooling things
down than strict moderation.
An off list post suggesting that one cool their jets or take a
conversation off line, even with a warning is far more effective, I
What this prevents is a clash of people's emotional styles between the
moderator and the moderated.
Some people grew up in homes where arguing was completely frowned
on...........some where it was encouraged.............some where that
could became abusive.............some where not discussing at all was
There are all shades of emotional communications...................and
not everyone is fucked up because their modes of communication
Occasionally, you'll get someone who will go over the top and not stop
but, in the end, verbal akido, if you will, is usually the best
policy...........people will cook themselves if they keep going over the
You are right though, Mark......this really is a good list all in all
and we've had remarkably few flame wars in the past.
I think that is something to be proud of............cooler heads tend to