Re: so when do we get the EDP news?/reasons to have boomerang AND EDP

["american qabalah" <american@qabalah.com>]

> So, you're going to allow us to use the multiply
> function in sustain mode? Would it be more accurate to
> call it "Loop Divide"?
>
> John

Actually, you have it all wrong.  He's referring to the ability of the new 
EDP
to link via infrared signals to the Dell 9000 computer, which uses rat 
brains
suspended in iodine acting as neural networks that have been specially 
trained
to enhance live performance by making a damn good cup of coffee for each
member of an audience, custom-tailored to his or her personal tastes via
mental telepathy, astrological charts, and/or credit purchase history 
analysis
(internet connection not included).  This feature of course requires (1) a
java-enabled USB coffeemaker running Loopaccino (tm) Version VIII software
(versions IV-V were used but only internally, version VI called in sick, 
and
version VII was sacrificed to satan during an Imbolc festival in an 
attempt to
magically prevent the Backstreet Boys from making any more albums), (2) 
SCSI
platform shoes (void where prohibited by law), and (3) 8 ounces of chilled,
two-percent, vitamin-D-enriched, ultra-pasteurized acidophilus milk.  Use 
of
dairy products, however, can be disabled by depressing the new "Vegan" 
button
while pointing one's nose towards the ceiling and making a humping motion*
(see attached diagram).

* As of this writing, the humping motion must still be performed in Hebrew.
For a good example of this, see 2 Live Jew's video, "Kosher As U Wanna B" 
now
appearing on the Adam & Eve network.  Yarmulke sold separately.

It should all make sense now.