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Looper's Delight
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I have jammed solo and with others on everything except heroin and ecstasy, as I've never taken these. The drugs increased a perception of cohesion amongs the players, probably induced by the agreement to partake in the ingestion; the rituals of sharing, passing; and finally the slow, unstoppable chemical shift. I have recordings of "boring" sessions sans substances, and sessions with. The material without was, even reluctantly admitted when I was a stoner, better in the sense of being cleaner, clearer, more focused, less wandering. The material while on would take very strange turns. Some of it was musical, but it tended to drift aimlessly, become creepy sometimes. There were moments when a theme was explored and was successful, but it would rarely involve a key change. Or at least not a smooth one. Some remarkable pieces while on LSD needed lots of tweaking later in Digital Performer in order to sound better. And as I listen now, it's still not as remarkable as it sounded with the residue still making love to my dendrites, axons, and swirling in the bloodstream. I found that if I learned and practiced while sober, and then smoked (or whatever), my playing would become very different, while still utilizing the skills I honed clear of the chemical shift. I also noticed that my memory would not serve as reliably, that I'd rediscover the wheel while playing, so to speak, and became fascinated with my own sounds rather than the band's. We would become ball-hogs who shared the ball rather than a team with a goal in mind. I would also buy and sell equipment impulsively. I regret the loss of a nice PRS, a The Strat, and a vibro champ. Some can get by with the memories. Others should never try them as they will be hurt. Shamans in the amazon will give westerners the ayahuasca root, but warn that they may die. Don Juan warns against the allies a user may conjure. But that was fiction...right? I am not for recreational use. We were a band capable of playing and recording while high. We were aired on various public radio programs. I listen to the music now and I'm not as hyped about it as I was then. This still happens, though, even without chemicals. But there is a difference, both in composition and mood. The stuff I create today I would not trade for a moment of success while on drugs. Plus, it's more fun. I enjoy having my body to myself as I was born with, not dabbling with postnatal chemical recreations. The memories instilled by the experiences serve just fine to ease me into a place of heightened performances. If drugs did anything, it was transitory and certainly nothing that I would want to rely on in order to perform. I have therefore had to train myself to relearn the instrument and all that it entails: that desire to continue playing, the pleasure, the accuracy, creativity, exploration... I would not repeat my earlier experiences. They were neither good nor bad and that is my personal danger. Normal consciousness is boring, mundane, routine. Altered consciousness is life- affirming. It's like breathing cool air on a clear midnight and seeing the "stars" and knowing that they are more than words in the mind, but real, mystically suspended, beautiful, unfathomably distant and unknowable objects... The challenge for me is a recognition (re-cognition) of this wonder without any further outside assistance than the stars themselves. DMT may be able to awaken the kundalini, but so can.... This is what I meant to say.