Re: Left-handed Compliments From Off the Wall

[ArsOcarina@aol.com]

Rich,

In a message dated 11/15/04 18:22:54, thetoyroom@comcast.net writes:

> False modesty can be just as egocentric as false bravado…

Would that it were "false." I guess I just expect a lot of myself
and always find I come up way short. I'd have no trouble ever 
having a "big head" about anything I do or have done if I could
only ever manage to feel quite good enough about any of it 
to have one. Far from being "falsely modest," I like to think of 
myself as a rather unavoidably compulsive unflinching realist 
who can't help but face up to the knowledge (in his heart of hearts) 
that, even though he enjoys the "putzing around" musically it's 
not great art, nor particularly meaningful in the "grand scheme 
of things"   -- and never will be (even though that would be
my fondest wish). Therefore, I find it much more useful, when 
I spy my reflection in a mirror (or in the mirror of my own work)
to be the first to see the object worthy of ridicule that is there, 
stick a pin in my own balloon (of an ego) and laugh at my own 
prideful conceit, ignorance and stupidity. Then, move on and try 
to do better. It's not an affectation. It's the real me folks.
Maybe that IS egocentric. But it's an honest sort of egocentricity.

Best regards,

tEd ® kiLLiAn

http://www.pfmentum.com/flux.html
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