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Re: PrePrepared vs. Improvisational

On Thu, Jul 9, 2009 at 11:46 AM, Kevin Cheli-Colando<kevin@minds-eye.org> 
>I find it very
> strange as I would like to be able to play a rehearsed composition or
> song and I would like to share what music I make with an audience one
> day as well, but everything seems to take me in the opposite
> direction.
> Anyone else experience anything similar?

Me.  Since I started playing, the "performance" or "recording" was
always the goal.  It seemed totally out of sync with what I felt,
which was my most fulfilling experiences came from real time
improvising alone or with a group. The truth is I've rarely had a good
experience in front of an audience. No monitors near you, gear
screwing up, can't see well, etc, all end up making the live
performance more of an exercise in anxiety.  The rehearsed pieces are
a lot less fun to play, but because you're "on rails" it seems a
billion times less stressful to pull off successfully.  Instead of
having to make it and get it right, all you have to do is get it
right. Some people can make it, get it right, and interact with the
audience, but that person sure isn't me.  Maybe if I did it a lot, but
the truth is I just don't even have the desire to.

I'm more happy with my music these days than ever.  I think I'm on to
something too.  I know a lot of people who used to play but then
stopped because they hadn't achieved a degree of "success."  That
comes from some pressure in our culture to "make something of
yourself" or move on.  I think that's the fallacy. I bet a lot more
people would be happy just to do it for their own personal enjoyment
but we have this idea that's not enough.  Silly.  Last weekend Ty and
I jammed to the audience of my cat who lurked outside my studio.  I'm
sure she's have been happier if I let her in, but mostly because she
likes to chew the rubber bits on my keyboard stands.