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Re: Open Letter to Mark Sottilaro from Rick Walker



Gentlemen while I was not personally there and didn't know either of
you or this lIst at the time of the disagreements, I'm not sure making
any of this public is for the good of this community.  I'm sorry that
the art of your individual muses is stepping into the human hurt and
truthfully ego here.  I think this is all quite sad and sad that I
guess the only way to communicate these hurts is via list.  It does
sound like rick exhausted all other contact prior to going public.
Anyhow I don't know that I have any biz rrplying on this other than to
defend the communities respect that maybe it doesn't need this.  I'm
sorry that you all 3 have a lot of hurt here.

Jim

On 7/18/09, Mark Sottilaro <zerocrossing@gmail.com> wrote:
> You know how you and your brother sometimes don't talk for years
> because you hate each other?  Can't I get in on that?
>
> If you feel we must air this on list, here's the deal.  I do not like
> you or your brother.  Where I'm from we call people like you to
> "assholes."  My friend Das who knows you guys from Santa Cruz warned
> me about you guys long ago and he was right.
>
> My first inkling that you were an asshole was that you're smarmy
> toward woman.  I used to work with Kristal from Estonia. Remember her?
> I found it hilarious that you took such an "interest in helping" her
> music career.  Could it be because she was hot? You were similarly
> smarmy with my x Valerie, yet ignored my less attractive friend Katrin
> who's talent on the Chapman stick and Eullian pipes is obviously 100
> fold what my x's casual interest in music was. Both of them turned to
> me, pointed this out and basically said, "That guy's creepy."
>
> You sold me 2 CDs of your music.  One came blank.  I asked several
> times for a replacement and you ignored me.  Why? I'm not even into
> your noodlings, but I felt I should have it on principal. Oh well.
> BTW, I'm not just saying I don't like your music because I have a beef
> with you, I think Bill's music is quite good even though I do not like
> him personally.
>
> The Heaven CDROM.  You should be ashamed of yourself.
>
> The monitor thing at your gig... awesome way to treat a guest.  Why
> even invite me?  I totally owned my own Mackie powered speakers I
> could have used but didn't bring them because you said you had it
> under control.  By under control you must have meant, "Bill and I will
>  split the stage in half and shove you off to the size away behind the
> mains and far away from the monitors."
>
> Bill seems to think it's OK to lecture me about what's not funny off
> list.  Note to Bill: I'm funny.  I know funny.  You are not funny. I
> wasn't even trying to be funny toward Jean, I was just assuring him
> the lights on the APC40 were tame and not crazy like a Tenori-on. In
> fact, he and I have been conversing on list on a real solution to his
> problem, not a retarded suggestion like "use a P5 data glove."  That's
> like suggesting someone use an Etch-a-sketch to draw a police artist
> crime sketch.
>
> Rick, I can't stand the way you've set up your loop fests.  "Featured"
> artists?  Who does that serve?  The adoring public?  Note: there is no
> adoring public, it's just us. It doesn't elevate the featured artist
> in any way and just serves to unnaturally demote the non-featured
> artists.  I can't really figure the point of it.  If you actually had
> a name like Robert Fripp it would make sense, but I just looked at
> your 08 list of "featured" artists, and while I have nothing bad to
> say about any of them, I've also never heard of a single one outside
> this list.
>
> Anyway, those are the reasons I do not like you and your brother.  So
> what, life goes on, I'm sure lots of people don't like me either.
> Please don't respond, as I do not care.  I'm just going to delete any
> further messages in this thread.
>
> Sincerely yours,
>
> Mark
>
> On Sat, Jul 18, 2009 at 9:16 AM, Rick Walker<looppool@cruzio.com> wrote:
>> Mark,
>>
>> In this forum you just wrote:
>> ".....Plus, I hate traveling. Even for
>> fun... it's not fun when you do a gig with Rick and Bill Walker where
>> you drive for over an hour, spend an hour setting up and shlepping
>> your gear plus a full video set up with a 16 foot screen and find out
>> they can't be bothered to move a monitor near you so you have to play
>> with headphones while smashed all the way off to the side of the stage
>> because they've spit the area among themselves. Awesome......"
>>
>> I have tried to work out our differences off line with you,  but you 
>won't
>> reply to me,
>> so, because you do not have the courage to communicate with me directly
>> and have chosen to be critical of me (and my brother, Bill) on this 
>list,
>> I
>> feel compelled to write to you in public.
>>
>> To whit:
>>
>> I would love it,  if you have a beef with me (or with my brother) that 
>you
>> have the courtesy to take it up with me (or him, because remember, we 
>are
>> not the
>> same person) off list and , preferably,  not three or four years after 
>the
>> alleged slight has
>> taken place.
>> It's just common courtesy and it's just a mature professional thing to 
>do.
>>
>> For one thing:
>> You might find out information that mitigates your particular perception
>> of
>> and assumptions about the
>> event in question.
>>
>> For another:
>> You might illicit an apology if I've been out of line, unnecessarily
>>  narcissistic or stressed out
>> (all things I can be guilty of during the stress of trying to produce a
>> multiple person event,  where
>> I provide the PA (for free),  book the gig (for free), handle all of the
>> communication between artists (for free),
>> publicize (for free and with considerable time and some expense that I
>> have
>> always donated out of my own pocket)
>> and put up the posters.
>>
>> I'm a fallible person and I try to be self reflective and self 
>correcting
>> if
>> I"m doing something wrong or god forbid,
>> accidentally causing another artist harm or discomfort.  If I have done
>> something wrong or if you, or any artist, feels
>> that I've ever been disrespectful or merely insensitive,  I'd love to 
>know
>> about it so I can make it right and apologize,
>> humbly.
>>
>> Who knows what could transpire, but since I try really hard to be as
>> supportive of artists who play events at
>> events, large and small, that put on,   I can assure you that something
>> could easily have been worked out
>> and you wouldn't have had to hang on to this for so long.
>>
>> Since you decide to air this grievance on the list (and years after the
>> fact
>> at that) then
>> let me please publicly  go on record about the particular gig you played
>> here in Santa Cruz so long ago:
>>
>> 1)  We got into the venue very late on the evening of the gig (due to my
>> work schedule, unfortunately)
>> which threw a real wrench in the entire flow of the gig, since I was
>> responsible for making all the decisions
>> and setting up the P.A.
>>
>> 2)  We had always, historically, played the main stage in this venue
>> (where
>> there is plenty of room for many artists)
>> and , at the last minute, they reversed that policy and forced us to 
>cram
>> ourselves into
>> the small other side of the room where room was much more at a premium.
>> This totally threw me for a loop and made me even more tardy in getting
>> the
>> thing going on time.
>>
>> 3)  From what little I recall of the event,  I was really stressed out 
>and
>> overworked trying
>> to get the PA working and trying to figure out how the hell to 
>accommodate
>> so much
>> equipment.   You, yourself, had a lot more gear than I thought you would
>> have and we,
>> well, being the Walker brothers, had a lot too.
>>
>> Also parenthetically, I never received any help from you, either: 
>setting
>> the P.A.
>> up or tearing it down..........a considerable amount of work, 
>particularly
>> at that venue.
>>
>> In this community, I've found that most artists do recognize the hard 
>work
>> it takes to
>> produce a free gig and they chip in a little to help out.
>>
>> 4)  I tried to set the gig up so that we split the small space into
>> thirds.
>> I'm a professional drummer who frequently comes to gigs to find that
>> people
>> have not let
>> me have enough space so I'm very sensitive to being as fair as I can 
>about
>> space:   ask anyone
>> about this assertion.  You'll find it is true.
>>
>> 5) I can't even remember the monitor issue, but if I made a mistake for
>> the
>> aforementioned
>> stress or narcissism reasons,   I am deeply sorry that you felt offended
>> and
>> years later I feel fine
>> about  issuing you a public apology.
>>
>> 
>*************************************************************************
>>
>> Also,  I would like to publicly state that since that time,  I have on
>> numerous occasions invited you to come and
>> play the Looping Festival.     I like what you do musically and you've
>> been
>> involved on this list for a long
>> time so I think it's a good thing if you want to play live.   I've 
>treated
>> you with respect and tried to be
>> inclusive.   This has been very consistent on my part because I believe 
>in
>> such things.
>>
>> You have turned me down every single time and every single time,  I"ve
>> tried
>> again to get you to change your mind
>> to no avail.
>>
>> I've never had a problem with it (other than being personally 
>disappointed
>> that you haven't wanted to
>> participate)
>>
>> I wish you wanted to play live for this community because I think you 
>are
>> intelligent, sensitive and a good musician
>> with valid things to say musically
>> BUT.............. I'm completely down with your decision that you don't
>> want
>> to, or that you don't
>> want to play in public.
>> Really man,  no judgment from me on that count whatsoever.
>> I DID take you to task a week or so ago on this list for making a lot of
>>  statements about the nature of live looping events because,
>> in point of fact,   you just haven't' participated in several years and
>> can't really speak with any authority even though you wrote
>> as if you had that authority.
>> Even in this,  however, I wasn't maligning your character or your worth.
>>
>> I was just disagreeing with your assertions.  It's what one opens 
>oneself
>> up
>> to when one speaks with authority on a public list.
>> But none of what I wrote was personal or designed as a slight to you.
>>
>> I do take exception, however, with the fact that you seem to be both
>> critical and trying to pick a fight with me both
>> in public and in private correspondence of late.
>>
>> There's just no reason for it, Mark.
>>
>> I've always treated you with respect and I've tried repeatedly to be
>> inclusive of you in the public events and festivals that I've promoted.
>> I don't have any malice in my heart for you.   I don't dislike you.
>> Please have the common courtesy to treat me with equal respect and let's
>> take all of this off line from now on.
>>
>> You don't have to like me.    You don't have to agree with me about
>> anything
>> that I do or any aesthetic I try to embody
>> with the looping festivals I produce
>> .
>> You can hang on to perceived slights as long as you want, but my feeling
>>  is
>> that this is not the proper forum for airing
>> these differences.
>>
>>
>> yours,   Rick Walker
>>
>>
>
>


-- 
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